I have come up with a brilliant-beyond-brilliant idea, hatched right in my kitchen, at the exact moment I heard more of Obama’s two-step rhetoric on Israel. 

We can get rid of those pesky Vermonters, who hate present-day America so much that they want out, and at the same time, we can secure that all-elusive peace in the Middle East pretty darned easily.

We could do it in three easy steps, with probably less bloodshed than a single day’s worth of Hamas etal barbarism.

Step 1:  Grant Vermonters their wish.

Even though most Americans believe that the secession issue was settled by the Civil War, many Vermonters disagree.   To be fair, there are a handful of other states toying with the same idea, but Vermont’s secession movement is really taking on traction, and to be honest, it would be much easier to just let the tiny, troublemaking state of Vermont go, than say Texas or Florida.  Texas or Florida would definitely be worth putting up a real fight for, in order to save the Union.

But Vermont needs America a whole heap more than America needs Vermont.

Actually, that is a vast understatement.

Vermont has the ignominious distinction of having produced Howard Dean, former governor, and now leader of the Democrat Party, whose idiotic, ironclad rules are currently fomenting rebellions from nearly all corners of that once august body.  Howard Dean evidently missed his elders’ lesson regarding cutting off one’s nose to spite his face. 

Howard Dean seems a perfect example of Vermonters’ short-sightedness.

Another outstanding example of Vermont short-sightedness, of course, is the political career of Senator Jim Jeffords.  Jeffords, readers may recall, was the long-term, liberal Republican Senator from Vermont, who switched his Party status to Independent in 2001, while promising to vote with Democrats in exchange for chairmanship of the committee he desperately wanted to control:  Environment and Public Works.  As the longtime, magnanimous benefactor of the Sierra Club, this committee chairmanship was the plum in Jeffords’ otherwise tasteless-pudding career.

It wouldn’t have made a hill-of-beans difference what Party Jeffords affiliated with, except for the fact that his defection handed majority control to the Democrats.  Jeffords’ decision was heralded far and wide in leftist circles and among their lap-dog media icons for the political equivalent of a New York minute.

No sooner was the ink dry on Jeffords’ new chairmanship than the Republicans regained control of the Senate in the 2002 election, and Jeffords retired in pretty short order, returning to Vermont, dragging his little tail behind him.

And true to their thorny Marxist natures, Vermonters quickly replaced Jeffords with the first openly avowed socialist Senator, Bernie Sanders.  Sanders won election without mincing words about his true ideology, and sailed into his seat with a full 65% of the Vermont vote.  Of course, he had the endorsement of Howard Dean.

Sanders is now an outspoken member of the legislative caucus that calls itself the Progressive Congressional Caucus, and they are doing all they can to progress the Marxist cause in America. 

So, how many Americans would be willing to send in an army of our peers to prevent Vermont from leaving the Union?

Not more than a few would be my guess.

Step 2:  Invoke Eminent Domain and Seize Vermont

Not being a lawyer myself, I’m not sure what kind of loophole-making, arm-twisting and shady finagling would be required to seize every square inch of Vermonters’ private property and all the holdings of the State, city and county governments, but I’m pretty sure that if we sign up, say a dozen lawyers, with a will to do it, then a way can and will be found.

We could start with every single building project within the borders of Vermont that had a nickel’s worth of federal money in it’s inception and/or maintenance.  That ought to take care of a pretty fair portion of it right off the bat.

We could seize the 52 state parks and the 300,000 acres of state forest land immediately, I’m quite certain.  Surely Vermonters can’t claim that they bought and maintained every inch of it without at least a tiny bit of American help and dollars.

As of 2005, the entire population of Vermont was a piddling 623,050, and its largest city is Burlington, with a paltry 38,000 residents.  Some of those are bound to be children and elderly retired folks, so I really do doubt that they will be willing to wage too big of a fight for their properties, especially since Vermont is largely peacenik territory.  I’m sure we could just send in a couple of smooth-talking diplomats to make a case for vacating Vermont peacefully, rather than having a modern-day Sherman burn every last house to the ground.

In fact, wresting private property from stubborn Vermonters could be a trial run for Obama’s diplomacy-not-bombs approach to world peace.  He has failed miserably to bring any peace to his church congregation. Perhaps he can succeed in Vermont and partially redeem his diplomacy creds in time for the election.

While the lawyers are working out the details on the entire Vermont seizure on Kelo grounds, we can ensure that those Vermonters don’t make it over the border into the United States illegally by promptly surrounding them with a military blockade.  Perhaps they can collectively subsist on their dairy products for a bit, but not being able to get any goods from any other American state will reduce their will to fight in pretty short order, I suspect. 

Oh wait, I forgot.  Vermonters don’t fight. 

This is going to be a lazy-day walk in the park.

Once we have legally seized every square inch of Vermont, there is only one thing left.

Step 3:  Offer Vermont to Israel and send Vermonters to take the Israelis’ place in the Middle East.

Enough is enough, I say.  I’ve had it up to my neck with those in the world community who have laid the blame for every shot or rocket fired in the Middle East for the past 60 years at Israel’s door.  This has to stop. 

Now, I realize very well that the Jews have more historical claim to their tiny strip by the Sea than any other group, race, nationality, anything.  Even the most cursory look at the history of that region tells this to anyone with even a grain of common sense. 

And the land there is holy, not only to the entire Jewish population of the world, but also to every Christian around the globe.  Even though the Muslims want to claim it too, they are 7 centuries too late over the Christian claim and several millennia too late on the Jewish claim.

However, and this is a huge however, the Islamists of all stripes have made it perfectly clear for six decades now that they will never agree to live side by side with the Israelis in peace.

I say we, at least temporarily, provide safe transport to every Israeli, give them Vermont, and re-name it Israel in Diaspora.  It can be a separate Country; that’s fine.  A real American practically needs a passport to go to Vermont anyway; it’s already like a separate Country.

The Israelis will be guaranteed peace and good will, free trade and every other goody that goes into peaceful foreign relations with our allies.  Not having to have a perpetually-on-alert military just might make up for the abandonment of historical land and not having a seashore.  Oh, and since the Israelis have been able to convert desert into blooming orchards, their new land in Vermont will probably become the most prosperous land in North America within 50 years.

If the Israelis agree, then all that must be done is to get every last Vermonter over to Israel to take the Jews’ place in the land, with which they can properly test their peace-with-complete-appeasement theory.  We’ll even throw in a handheld GPS for every Vermonter making the journey so they’ll always know where Mecca is for their 5-times-a-day prayers.

Give my plan a hundred years or so, and maybe the Islamists will have reformed their “religion” at least enough to see the practicality of making bread instead of bombs.

Okay, with my 3-step plan for peace in the Middle East, I think I might run for President. 

I’ll stack my plan and 35 years of marriage, homemaking and raising children against Obama’s tacky political career any day, any day.

And if I win, I promise that my very first act as President would be to enact my Middle East Peace Plan and evict every last Vermonter from the Union.

Any takers?